“Woman, you have great faith!” (Matthew 15:28)
Shutterstock licensed image stock photo ID: 78565666. Old representation of Jesus Christ meeting the Canaanite woman.
Created by Flandrin, published on L'Illustration Journal Universel, Paris, 1857
THE PASTOR’S POST
Having a chat with a friend who also works as a psychologist for a large employment company, I dared to ask if she had any suggestions about dealing with what I shall call “difficult people”. Others refer to them as “impossible” but I think you get the idea. Not that I know any such people personally, although I met one once in a previous parish many years ago. Thankfully, I got transferred eventually. However, I thought any advice might come in handy should I need to offer assistance to anyone who asked. What I have assumed is that most people know someone who seems to make every situation toxic and impossible. Pointing out to these people that they are difficult and demanding won't get you anywhere, though — odds are, they don't even see a problem, or worse, they see you as the problem. Whether the issue is caused by a personality disorder or some other underlying issue, my wise companion did suggest that you can learn how to navigate interactions with impossible people and preserve your own sanity.
At that point I thought it wise to start taking notes so that I didn’t miss any of the sage teachings that her company pays a fortune to hear from her and which I was getting for free and a small glass of shiraz.
What follows is my version of possible approaches to excessively demanding people. These may not work in all circumstances and may need tweaking according to the severity of the situation, but they just allow you to keep your head when others around you are losing theirs.
Don’t get defensive. Stay calm, and be aware that you will never win an argument with an impossible person—they are referred to as "impossible" for a reason. In the impossible person's mind, you are the problem, and nothing you say can convince the person to see your side of the story. They feel that your opinion doesn’t matter because you are guilty, regardless.
Think about what you are going to say before you say it and what your goal for the conversation is. Don’t just react impulsively because the other person offended you. You don’t have to defend yourself to this person.
Staying calm in the heat of the moment is paramount to your personal preservation. Spitting angry words, reacting with extreme emotions such as crying, will only stimulate impossible people to do more of the difficult behaviour. Don’t take the reactions of impossible people personally, and don’t allow yourself to become emotionally charged in reaction to him or her. Such responses give them the impression that they are winning, whatever imaginary battle you may be having.
This is now the really hard bit. Remove yourself emotionally from the situation, and treat it with indifference. The goal is to not allow yourself to get emotionally involved in the conversation, keep the person at a distance and not let the words make you feel bad.
Consider the fact that anything you do or say while angry can be used against you. Unless you don’t mind hearing about an angry comment years from now, then let it go. Impossible people want you to say something to prove that you’re the bad guy.
Do not judge this person as right or wrong even if they seem irrational. Judging is likely to only make them feel justified in their approach and you feel worse.
Avoid arguing with them. If possible, don't disagree with impossible people. Find ways to be agreeable or ignore them. Arguing will only get you emotionally invested in the situation and trigger your fight or flight responses. This will make it harder for you to think clearly and respond appropriately.
Impossible people are looking for a fight, so when you agree with them or some truth in their statement, you are no longer giving them what they want. Where possible, find some point where you might actually agree with them. It can be quite disarming.
Realize you probably can’t have a reasonable conversation. Having a civilized conversation with the impossible person is unlikely—at least with you. Recall every time you tried in the past to have a civilized discussion about your relationship with the person. You were probably blamed for everything instead.
Avoid getting cornered into an argument. Don’t deal with the person one-on-one. Always suggest that a third party be brought in. If the person refuses, demand it.
Ignore them. Impossible people want attention, so once they realize you won’t give them what they want, they will move onto someone else who will react to them. Stay out of their business, out of their way and avoid talking to or about them.
Impossible peoples’ outbursts are like a child's tantrum. Pay them no mind unless the outbursts become disruptive, dangerous or threatening. Do your best to avoid angering impossible people or giving them a reason to lose their temper.
Take a breather. If the person you're talking with is getting on your last nerve, then you need to step away from the immediate situation. They might just want to get a rise out of you, so show them that they have no effect on you. Walking away or handling another task so you can calm down is a good idea. There is no point being as stubborn as they are. That’s called a no win/no win situation.
If the person is still being impossible, then just ignore them. That person will eventually back down if they notice that they are not aggravating you.
Give these suggestions a try and I guarantee some of them will work, unless I am the “impossible person” you are trying to deal with. Know that I am on to all your crafty methods to get me to change.
Fr Peter Dillon PP.
STEWARDSHIP REFLECTION: August 16, 2020 20th Sunday in Ordinary Time. Year A.
“For the gifts and the call of God are irrevocable.” (Romans 11:29)
God has a special mission in mind for each of us. He has given us the gifts we need to accomplish that mission. We are called to be good stewards by using those gifts to do the work that He has planned for each of us. If we deny our gifts or fail to use them as God calls us to use them, then some part of His work will be left undone.
The vision of Stewardship speaks in every aspect of life, inviting everyone to be thankful, generous and accountable for what each has been given.
SACRED HEART & ST VINCENT’S RELIGIOUS GOODS SHOPS
The two Religious Goods Shops in our Parish at Sacred Heart and St Vincent’s Churches are open for business before and after all Masses.
Our shops are ‘Holy Spaces’, all the religious goods stock has been blessed by the Priests prior to re-opening. This will save you running after the Priest to bless your purchases.
The Surfers Paradise Parish community congratulates the Tynan family whose son Henry will be baptised at the Sacred Heart Church this weekend.
As Henry begins his faith journey, please keep him and his family in your prayers.
THREE PARISH CHURCHES OPEN FOR WEEKEND MASSES (PRE-BOOKED)
Sunday Masses are being offered, (pre-bookings still required), in all three churches of our Parish. Bookings are still necessary, as is social distancing and extensive sanitising conditions, to comply with COVID-safe requirements.
Additional to these Sunday Masses we will continue to celebrate Mass at Sacred Heart each weekday at 9am. You will be informed by the parish website or E-Newsletter when this situation changes.
Please remember that as per restrictions we are still expected to book and check in for mass, maintain a social-distance of 1.5metres, receive Holy Communion in the hand only, refrain from physical contact when offering the Sign of Peace, and to sanitise when entering and exiting the premises.
We ask that people consult the parish website https://www.surfersparadiseparish.com.au, to keep up to date with any changes relating to masses.
Mass Booking: https://bookeo.com/catholicmassgoldcoast or
Or, if you are unable to book online, please ring the parish office between 9am and 12 noon Mon-Fri. Ph: 5572 5433
THE GOSPEL THIS WEEKEND
The readings this weekend remind us of one of the key teachings and attitudes of Our Lord. This is also a central value and attitude in the life of the Holy Trinity: (Father, Son and Holy Spirit!)…. and that is openness, inclusion and welcome. Love that reaches out and is always open to the other and a love that is always open to “yet one more person being part of the family.”
The faith of that lady who persisted in asking Our Lord for what she needed is sadly in stark contrast with the response many of Our Lord’ own people were giving to Our Lord himself, who was ‘one of them’ – one of their own people.. one of the chosen ones. Many of his own people were rejecting him. And here was a lady from a different place and a different religion who knows she is taking a risk in even approaching him, and yet she keeps persisting even when she gets an initial and noticeable rebuff from the disciples and even by Our Lord’ initial response. The lady persists because she KNOWS that Jesus is the one who can help. She knows that he is the messiah who will welcome the chosen ones to his table. And she hopes and prays that her faith in him and her proximity to the table will be enough to share in the blessings of the table. The Canaanite woman is willing to share in any scrap or morsel of the richness God has to offer, which, ironically, is not being appreciated by those who sit at the table…..And she is RIGHT. Our Lord does not merely say, you can enjoy the scraps that fall from the chosen one’s table… He is saying to her; because of your faith, because of your persistence…. you can JOIN the table… for - What faith!! What persistence!!
I imagine that when the lady responded how she did, Our Lord would have smiled... cast his head back and laughed... not a scornful laugh but a laugh of delight and recognition. THIS lady GETS it... this lady understands when my people do not. This humble woman just wants to share in any small piece of the blessings that others cannot even see.,.... and then his warmth and inclusion are complete.....
There are references to Our Lord starting out addressing the chosen ones of Israel, but clearly, by the end of his ministry, this has widened to all who will respond... The chosen ones are anyone and everyone who responds in faith and love and trust in what The Lord is offering... This is a blessing of immense proportions.
Fr. Paul Kelly
References: (MISSION 2000 – PRAYING SCRIPTURE IN A CONTEMPORARY WAY. YEAR A. BY MARK LINK S.J).
Shutterstock licensed image. ID: 139552943 Bible stories. By Anna Yefimenko
LITURGY SPOT
Memorial acclamation: - (Sung)… also known as the Mystery of faith….
There are three choices… ….
(As the presider, I like to lead off with an option to ensure we cycle through all three choices over time)….
Some priests leave it to the assembly to choose one. I recommend that if it is left to the assembly to give voice to the acclamation, the people or at least one person in the congregation also cycle through the three options)…
The priest or deacon introduces the section by saying.,… “The mystery of faith.”
Then the priest and people sing or say…..
(on Sundays, holy days and special occasions - funeral masses and Wedding masses - these ought to be sung…..)
We proclaim your Death, O Lord,
and profess your Resurrection
until you come again.
Or:
When we eat this Bread and drink this Cup,
We proclaim your Death, O Lord,
until you come again.
Or:
Save us, Saviour of the world,
for by your Cross and Resurrection,
you have set us free.
These three options are not tied specifically to a particular Eucharistic Prayer, but all three acclamations ought to revolve through every one of the Eucharistic Prayers.
There used to be a fourth Memorial Acclamation, but the fourth got deleted in the new translation…
It was deemed to have been an addition to the 1969 English translation of the Missal, without precedent, rather than inherent to the Missal. It also did not fit the format and content of the other official memorial acclamations. (The deleted option is the one that only appeared in the English translation of the previous missal: Christ has died, Christ is Risen, Christ has come again. This is not like the other three in that it does not directly address God).
When there were four acclamations, people fell into a mistake that these acclamations somehow matched up with one of the four main Eucharistic prayers. But this was never correct. It was just a coincidence that there were four main Eucharistic prayers and, at the time, four acclamations. Actually, there are many more than just four Eucharistic prayers, as we also have Euchharistic Prayers of Reconciliation, and four versions of the Eucharistic Prayers for Uses in Masses for Various Needs and so on. All three acclamations can and should be used with all of the Eucharistic prayers in a cycle.
This point is made much clearer now that there are only three acclamations to choose from.
The original Eucharistic Prayer is called the Roman Canon, which is now often called Eucharistic Prayer One, (I). It is a long and elegant prayer and includes a list of the many saints (which can be added or omitted as an option), and these saints listed in this option hark from the earliest times of the church.
Eucharistic Prayer II is adapted from an ancient eucharistic prayer by Hippolytus, and it is very clear and concise. It has its own preface which can be replaced by others for Sundays and special occasions.
Eucharistic Prayer III has its own preface but can be used with other prefaces.
Eucharistic Prayer IV has its own preface and is usually used when there is not a special season.
Fr Paul.
SACRAMENTAL SNAPSHOT
Confirmation 2020
Sacramental Program Enrolments for Preparation for Confirmation have now closed.
While our online link (via the parish newsletter) will still allow you to complete a form, any enrolment applications received after July 2020 will be held as enrolments for the 2021 Sacramental Group.
Families of children already enrolled in our Sacramental Group - Preparation for Confirmation 2020 should be aware that our original 2020 dates and workshop style Preparation Program for Confirmation were cancelled due to Covid restrictions. Consequently there are, as yet, no dates set for the Celebration of Confirmation 2020 - This will be negotiated around the availability of the bishop or his representative and the much reduced allowances for the number of guests each confirmation candidate will be able to invite due to social distancing requirements.
There will also be no preparation workshops in the style of recent years but the Sacramental Team is currently organising an ‘At Home Preparation for Confirmation’ document that will be similar to the at home learning-teaching model used when schools were in lockdown earlier this year. We will eventually email the document to parents of enrolled children but this step is still several weeks away.
Please know that we are working hard to bring this opportunity for preparing for Confirmation at home while respecting and complying with Covid 19 response requirements. We very much appreciate your patience and will contact families via email as soon as possible.
First Communion celebration in Surfers Paradise Parish 2020
A number of our Parish children have been working at home to complete their Preparation for First Communion. They have been learning and praying with their parents (or whole families where possible) to explore the information and activities provided. We have asked that children and adults talk and research together to complete the tasks and then return the completed work to our Children’s Sacramental Coordinator, Cathy Anderson.
Those who have returned their completed activity document will be offered places at parish masses in Sacred Heart Church in the beginning of the month of September. Each first communicant may invite 6 guests on the day of their First Communion.
Notification of the offer of places at one of the First Communion masses and booking for these places will be managed through emails from and to Cathy Anderson andersoncm@bne.catholic.net.au and NOT through the online booking system available to other parishioners. First Communion families, please don’t trigger a double booking situation by making your own online booking - Thanks in anticipation of your help on this.
Sacred Heart Masses available for First Communicants:
5pm Saturday, 5th September or
9am Sunday, 6th September or
5pm Saturday, 12th September
Congratulations and thanks to all families who have agreed to try this different approach to preparing their children to receive the sacraments. We ask all parishioners to pray for the adults and children of these families, as each family member fulfils their amazing part in spreading the Good News and growing the family of faith here in Surfers Paradise Parish.
STAYING CONNECTED
Have you ensured that your contact details are up to date with the parish:
Please fill out this form if you are unsure.
Census Form Information Update
SURFERS PARADISE CATHOLIC PARISH - CENSUS UPDATE
Are you on our mailing list for the weekly e-newsletter, weekly homily/Mass audio blog and occasional breaking news alerts?
If not, please email us at paulwkelly68@gmail.com. Please note that sometimes we have added a person to our email-list but the email is going to their “spam” folder or their “junk-mail” folder. It is always a good idea to check these folders to see if it isn’t in there. If that is happening to you, you can mark these emails as “approved” or “not-spam” or “not junkmail,” so that your email server does let them get through to you.
PARISH FINANCIAL SUPPORT
Our faith sustains us through challenging times. Now, more than ever, your support is needed to help our Parish to continue valuable pastoral activities and to provide ongoing sustainability. To assist you to support the Parish during this time of isolation, you can give via http://parishgiving.brisbanecatholic.org.au
We will continue to serve you through online resources and webcasts. If you are able to continue to support us, we would be most grateful. For all those who have been making payments via credit card and those who have donated directly into the parish account, we thank you. The spirit of generosity is alive in our parish. If you would like confirmation of your donation or a receipt emailed to you please contact me at manager.surfers@bne.catholic.net.au
Yours faithfully, Sonya Slater, Parish Manager
PLANNED GIVING ENVELOPES ARE READY
The Planned Giving Envelopes are now available at the Sacred Heart Church, Stella Maris Church and St Vincent’s Church before and after the scheduled masses. Bookings for masses are still necessary. The parish office can also give you your envelopes between 9 am and 12 noon, Monday to Friday. We only have envelopes for those who requested them, or those who previously requested them. People who direct debit will not have envelopes. Receipts for anyone who direct debits will be available at the parish office between 9 am and 12 noon, Monday to Friday.
Book for Mass at Surfers Paradise Parish: https://bookeo.com/catholicmassgoldcoast
Home Resources:
You can visit the Stay Connected page on our website to find an extensive list of information and resources to help during these times of isolation. Below are quick links to help stay in touch with our Parish and celebrate Mass at home:
Access the digital Catholic Leader: https://catholicleader.com.au/digital-newspaper-covid19
Liturgy for you at Home (produced by SPP): https://soundcloud.com/user-633212303/tracks
Weekly Homily (produced by SPP): https://homilycatholic.blogspot.com
Surfers Paradise Parish Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/surferscatholic/
Breaking Parish News (SPP Blog): https://news-parish.blogspot.com/
Livestream Catholic Mass (from Brisbane Cathedral, usually around 10 am): St Stephen’s Cathedral live webcast
Video on Demand of Masses: https://www.youtube.com/user/CatholicBrisbane/videos
Mass for You at Home (free-to-air TV):
Channel 10, Sundays 6:00 - 6:30 am and on-demand here also available on Foxtel 173 Aurora Channel
Liturgy Brisbane - Gospel Resources for at home: Sunday Readings: Read at Home and Family Prayer: Week by Week
IN OUR HEARTS AND PRAYERS AT THIS TIME
FOR THOSE WHO ARE SICK: John Zappa, George Cook, Caterina (Cathy) Randazzo, Peter O’Brien, Baby Charbel Raphael,
Angela Duvnjak, Judy Dempsey, Monica Bailey, Rachel Raines, Savannah Ayoub, Lisa Mangan, Colin Virtue, Ann Harris,
Ann-Marie Loder, Angel Salvador, Brian Woodgate, Kate Smith, Tricia Baumann, Gus Reeves, Baby Maeve Lombard, Kathy Kiely,
Ron Perry, Kim Parkes, Rosslyn Wallis, Jabour Haddad, Yvonne Lofthouse, Maureen Murphy, Peter Walsh, Arthur Haddad,
Jean Di Benedetto, Damian Callinan, Rosemary Wales, Peter Allsopp, Yvonne Campesi, Louis Couch, Steve Wayt, Michael Tracey, Joanne Mooney, Joanne Parkes, Michelle MacDonald, John & Molly Robinson, Mary Kerr, Eileen McCarthy.
And all suffering from the effects of Covid-19.
RECENTLY DECEASED: Fr Joe McGeehan, Paul Giacomantonio, Miriam Zarb, Peter Bathis (Gosford), Manuel Dos Santos, Maria Beuk (Austral NSW), Hannah Bishop, Josephine ‘Joyce’ Farrugia.
ANNIVERSARY OF DEATH: Barry Arderne, Bernie Crane, Patricia Medway, Patricia Sievers, Rosy Micheal, Maureen Joseph.
DECEASED: Bruck Wheeler, and the Wheeler, Westwell and Woodgate families.
Readings for 21st Sunday in Ordinary Time - A
FIRST READING: Isaiah 22:19-23 (diff)
Psalm 138:1-2a, 2b-3, 6+8. “Lord, your love is eternal, do not forsake the work of your hands”
SECOND READING: Romans 11:33-36
GOSPEL ACCLAMATION (Matthew 16:18). Alleluia, alleluia! You are Peter, the rock on which I will build my Church. The gates of hell will not hold out against it.
GOSPEL: Matthew 16:13-20
“The Archdiocese of Brisbane holds that children and vulnerable adults are a gift from God with an intrinsic right to dignity of life, respect and security from physical and emotional harm. They are to be treasured, nurtured and protected from any harm.”
As a Parish Community, we pray for a change of heart, that we respond to our grief by reaching out to one another in truth and love.
No comments:
Post a Comment